After my marriage collapsed  I had a lot of hard years because I had four kids that I loved who were really taken from me. I didn’t get to see much of my daughters but I saw my sons every weekend until they were adolescents. Fridays and Saturdays were fine, but  Sundays were really hard. Because I knew they would be going away again that evening. It was even hard to talk to them on Sundays.

As they grew older and time passed it all became harder , not easier, to deal with.  I always felt the relationship was fragile and  it could all be taken away from me. So I was never to sure what was safest for me or for them. If I let my emotions show it hurt them and it hurt me too. If I kept to myself it just hurt me but it made the distance between us bigger.

Nowadays  the distance is so big between us that it’s hard to make contact in an real way. That’s why it hard love, hard to stay close but hard to stay away.